They decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being dominant. This drama confirms for many men that they cannot put their trust in love.
This testing does not heal the wound of the past, it merely reenacts it, for ultimately the woman will become weary of being tested and end the relationship, thus reenacting the abandonment. While the rejected adolescent boy imagines that he can no longer receive his mother's love because he is not worthy, as a grown man he may act out in ways that are unworthy and yet demand of the woman in his life that she offer him unconditional love. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. The Will to Change continues on this provocative path, with a brave and honest attempt to unravel questions and provide answers to questions about love, intimacy and the patriarchy. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they arewhatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love Show full title By bell hooks 4.5 / 5 ( 98 ratings ) About this ebook Everyone needs to love and be lovedeven men. Often in their adult relationships these men act out again and again to test their partner's love. bell hooks didn't become one of America's foremost voices on modern culture by playing by the rules. If the first woman they passionately loved, the mother, was not true to her bond of love, then how can they trust that their partner will be true to love. “Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them.
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